cloud 9

I feel like I've been flyin' on cloud nine this week. It's knocked me off my feet a couple times when I think about how blessed I really am. That this is really my life. I never want to take for granted all of the incredible opportunities I've been given. all of the priceless friendships in my life. all of the stories and memories and experiences that have shaped who I am now. & the best part is, I really can't take credit for any of it. 

God is so good. I've been saying that in my head over and over again, and even catch it slipping off my tongue. I just love seeing his miracles. His provision. Getting ready to go on an outreach is hard, because there's so much left in the unknown. Like this one in particular - How are we going to get all of the equipment we need? Where are the finances going to come from? Who is going to be able to go? What are we going to be able to film? No one has done this before, is it even possible?? A big part of this journey is trust and faith, but honestly, this is my favorite part right here - when it all comes together. 

It's all coming together. Especially in the financial department, which has been a HUGE prayer for this team. Our film crew has needed thousands and thousands of dollars to even attempt this outreach, and now that we're down to the wire with days left before departure, God remains faithful and is meeting and exceeding all of our needs! My roommate just received a $2700 scholarship, along with the rest of my team's finances being raised, nearly $7000 has come in for camera equipment, plus additional ground fees that were desperately needed. Which through all of this just resonates one thing in my head, "we're really going..."

Up until this point it's been a lot of talk. Excitement, anticipation, preparation, but it hasn't been real. It's finally sinking into my heart what it is I'm about to do, and there isn't a thing I can do to wipe this smile off my face. None of my past hesitations even seem to matter anymore - skill level, finances, safety, security. God has never left me in this alone. Ever. It's been his plan from the start, and I just haven't been able to jump on board 100% until now. I wouldn't trade what I do for anything. Yes, it would be nice to have the luxuries of ordinary - a house, a car, maybe a boyfriend even? But who wants nice when you can have  e x t r a o r d i n a r y . My life is a story, I want it to to be worth reading. Don't you?

life out of a suitcase

I've got a praise report! After 5 months and $2,500 of saving and support raising, my around-the-world plane ticket is bought and paid for!! This was a big stretch for me in the faith department, and I was trying as hard as I could to weigh in on the trusting side oppose to doubting God to provide for me. I'm still another $1,000 away from what's needed to cover my expenses, but I have no doubt that this is God's plan and the pieces will continue to fall into place. 

As promised, here's is a copy of my flight itinerary. Just a taste of what my life will look like living out of a suitcase for the next 2 months...

date_____location________________________duration

2/18_____Denver, CO - Los Angeles, CA____2:26

2/18_____Los Angeles, CA - Munich________11:20

2/19_____Munich - Delhi___________________7:25

2/20_____Delhi - Kathmandu_______________1:25

3/6______ Kathmandu - Delhi_______________1:45

3/7______Delhi - Bangkok__________________4:25

3/24_____Bangkok - Abu Dhabi___________ _6:35

3/24_____Abu Dhabi - Casablanca__________8:55

4/6______Casablanca - Frankfurt____________3:25

4/6______Frankfurt - Chicago, IL____________9:08

4/6______Chicago, IL - Denver, CO__________2:40

Please cover these days with your prayers! With all of our baggage and camera equipment and layover schedules, I know there's potential for a lot to go wrong. But we have favor and I know it's possible for everything to move smoothly, even within imperfect circumstances.

I know I'm crazy... I know it. But I love this adventure that God is taking me on  :)

breaking the silence

I realize that it has been months since my last post, and already a new year has began. So I'm breaking the silence. I'm writing again  :)

I've been home in Lincoln since the beginning of December, and with the transition has come so many blessings, but also a heavy load of struggles and frustrations. I loved being home for Christmas, mostly for the intimate time with family and close friends. There were 4 new babies in my family at Christmas this year! (not to mention the 2 new ones last year, adding to the now 15 little ones that ran my sister's house on Christmas morning). It got me thinking a lot about if I had been in Sudan during this time, as previously planned. I wouldn't have met any of them. I'm so thankful for my family, for the laughs and the card games and the endless buffet of food anytime there's an event. The more and more I'm away it really does build up my appreciation for them. They're some of the only real roots and foundation I have right now.

   

(pictures above: me with my 3 nieces Jocelyn, Tessa, and brand new baby Jada)

Which has been my struggle, keeping my feet on a solid foundation - finding roots to dig into and invest in. I absolutely love what I do, and I know God has put a heart in me to travel all over the world working with different people groups - but it gets trying living out of a suitcase for months at a time. Even now, home just doesn't quite feel like home anymore. I'm still in transition, trying to live life and not just  w a i t  impatiently for my next journey. Some days are really good - I've met new friends and am working hard and enjoy the independence that comes with my own space, my own car and a full closet even! But some days are just. hard. I'm quick to loneliness, no longer having roommates or friends right down the hall from me. Most of my best friends are overseas right now, making communication limited if even possible. And I'm almost guarded to pour into new relationships, knowing that I'm leaving again soon. But I'm always leaving again. That really can't hold me back, can it?

One realization I've come to this past week is how easily independence comes to me when I'm living in Lincoln. Not that independence is bad, but I'm really not drawing any strength from God - I handle it all myself. Life is planned, structured, manageable. Living overseas God isn't just a part of it, he IS it. There is so much uncertainty and conflict and spiritual warfare, that he is in everything I do, I have no strength to get by on my own with. Which is why I think I'm burning out here. I don't need God less in Nebraska than I need him overseas, I just think that way. I go into autopilot, which leads to unhappiness. I'm not on a YWAM campus anymore, devotionals aren't written in my schedule, I don't have a worship band down the hall from me or a 24/7 prayer room just up the stairs. I've gotta figure this stuff out for me, in the here and now. It's not even so much what I do, I don't think, but where my heart is at. What do I really desire right now? What am I seeking? Is it him? 

I'm starting to ramble. This is an impromptu blog, no notes to go from - I just knew I needed to break the silence  :)  Sometimes I feel like my life is just less interesting here, like I only have something worth writing about when I'm in Africa or Asia or even Colorado Springs. But I'm still growing, learning, and overall really enjoying life. I am so excited for what's to come! - but again, am trying to live life to the fullest right here, right now. Working a lot, resting a lot, and preparing however I can for my next adventure around the world. I should really post my flight itinerary... I got it New Years day and it is ridiculous! So many countries in so little time... Well, until then!