t.i.a

How do I sum up the last 12 days of my life? I don't know if that's possible, but here's a good start:

ice cold hose showers. early morning worship. post-it birthday parties. h20 to go jr. sweaty and bruising drime practices on rocky hills. 16 hour plane rides. peanut butter sandwiches. monkeys in a barrel. grief journals. team building on the mattresses. breakfast pizza in amsterdam. overflowing porta-potties. fresh pineapple. calloused fingers from learning the guitar. concert praying. "how are YOU" from every direction. mutatu adventures. singing in the streets. cuddling with church babies. chacos. community living. swahili lessons from kibera pedestrians. african sunsets on the patio. cherished crystal light packets. breaking vulnerability. futbol in open lots. hand sanitizer and baby wipes. girltalk. laundry mat ministries. sewage streets. midnight heart-to-hearts. worms in the water. plywood bunk beds 3 stories high. encouragement mailboxes. dancing in the rain. life altering speakers and sessions. burning trash piles. big brown eyes. tear your heart out bootcamp. life in a duffel bag. missionary reality show.

This is my life. This is Africa. It's amazing. But I'll take a step back, just to fill you in on the details.

I arrived in Atlanta, GA on the the 12th, and was immediately thrown into a brand new lifestyle. I met my team, and almost instantly we've become a family. There are 13 of them, from all parts of the country, all very different story, and they're amazing. Training camp in Georgia was intense, to say the least. Every day was packed, from worship at prayer at 7am, speakers, sessions, team builders, drime practices (dramas to music), group discussions, you name it! Every night I went to bed absolutely exhausted, and excited to see what was in store for the next day. Training was a week of personal development, of ripping out the pieces inside of me that I had tucked away before grieving them, of letting go of personal rights and expectations to embrace community goals. It was fervent prayer that I have never experienced before, and worship that brought me to tears almost every night. I have grown more in this past week than I think most people allow themselves to in years. Going through it doesn't feel good, it isn't fun, but it's necessary. I know I could come home now a different person, but that was just the start of this journey.

After two 8 hour plane rides, a 3 hour layover in Amsterdam, and an 8 hour time change, we made it to Nairobi on Thursday night. Our apartments are incredible, so much more luxurious than we could have expected. Yes, there are still bed bugs and we've yet to bathe in hot water, but this new home is such a blessing! I'm living with 8 other girls, sharing everything - shampoo, toothpaste, clothes, cherished snacks and water flavoring, everything that we have. & I love it. Our nights end in prayer and card games, and my family would be proud that cribbage and spades have become a few of the team favorites.

Kibera is the slum that we are doing ministry in. AIM has an orphanage there, and we are partnered with a church community in the slum that we will be doing outreaches with. Details and pictures soon to come. I want you all to know that I'm safe and that God has big plans here. We are stepping in to be a piece of this revolution in the slums, and to make disciples that make impacts long after we're gone. This is probably the most detailed blog you'll get. I want to share with you everything that's been on my heart, but my time at the internet cafe is just about up. I'll be back with updates in two weeks. Until then, know that I am pouring love into orphans and families, and that I am being filled by my Lord and my team. God is good.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the lord has anointed me to proclaim the good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengence of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called mighty oaks, planting of the Lord for display of his splendor.
- Isaiah 61:1-3

leavin' on a jet plane

I think it's finally hit me. As I sit here, sipping the last of my $4 mocha, sprawled out in an over sized brown leather chair, I'm realizing that my life is never going to be the same. I am never going to be the same. This experience, this family of believers, this foreign country are going to change my life. Forever. And I leave in 6 hours.

I am so thankful for my life. I have been blessed more than I could as for, if no other way, through the relationships I have come to love and cherish. The last few weeks preparing to leave the country have been, well, hectic. There has been so much shopping and packing and preparing that I did not schedule much time for. Some nights I have felt extremely unprepared - that I haven't read enough, studied my Bible enough, prayed enough for this huge venture. But then a friend comes to town, or a family member spends the weekend with me, or my sister has a baby (!), and I see the heart of God so much more than I ever would "preparing" on my own. I feel love through relationships, and I could not have been any more filled up than I have been these past few weeks.

I'm learning how to be real. To be raw and unsheltered. Not flawless, just transparent. This is the first time I've exposed my thoughts and my heart to an audience of unknown. To anyone. To the world. I don't know how to adjust or adapt or react to my surroundings, so it's just me, alone with my computer, trying to process what the next three months of my life are going to be like. All I can do is smile. This summer has been so good, and I know it's just the beginning. There will be struggles, and I am going to be faced with more poverty and heartache and destruction than I've ever encountered in my 20 years of comfortable American living. But I am going to experience love on a level most people will never know. I'm going to live the way I was created to live, leaving the high heels and the make-up and the jewelry behind, stripping down to the core, to the real. I want to learn how to live real, if nothing else that is my prayer. I don't want to put on a mask for work, an image for my family and a costume for my friends. The woman that these people meet in Africa, that is going to be the real me. The broken, bruised, and God-loving little girl that is living to share Christ's love and grace.

My flight to Georgia leaves in 6 hours. I have to be at the airport in 5. Leave my house in 4. Wake up in... 3? Wow, there really is no turning back now. Africa here I come!

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...


How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!
- Romans 10:14-15