daddy's arms

A new speaker and a new subject for the week are revealing new brokenness in my heart. Dave (Gustaveson) is teaching this week on "Father's Love." After a few hours of topics and notes and discussion, he did something that was not listed in the agenda. He made time for God to intercede in our class. Sitting and praying (and going about 30 minutes over) I asked God to tell me something, show me what his heart was saying to mine. What I got was a picture.

It was me as a little girl, and I was running into my dad's arms. I saw him letting me climb up into his lap after my bath, and he brushed my hair. I remember this memory with my dad. Although our days together were few, this is one of the most intimate times I had with him. In those moments, nothing mattered but me. There were no distractions, no sports or tv or hospital visits, I was all that mattered to him. As I saw this picture flash through my mind, I realized that it wasn't my earthly dad who's arms I was running into, they were His.

As Allie sat and prayed with me, the tears rolling down both of our cheeks, she spoke words of life into me. She saw it to, and told me that God was not only brushing my hair, but that he was counting every single one. He knows each strand, just as he knows every part of me. He wants to be my daddy - to share those intimate moments with me, and show me that nothing matters more to him than our relationship. He wants to give back those years that were stolen from me, the days I spent without a father, and renew the hours I cried in loneliness.

Dave told me that this is a week of re-parenting. And that both of my daddy's are really proud of me.