October 21st - journal entry

As I watch another African sunset from our luxurious balcony, listening to the worship music inside and the evening birds singing, I reflect on the day. A great day.

Today was another day of firsts. It was the first time I’ve preached a sermon at a church, not to mention a church in the Kibera slum overflowing with believers coming to hear the word. Oh Lord, what a rush. I was so nervous, but I knew that this was my time. Last week I could not find the words you were wanting me to say, and this morning they were heavy on my heart. I taught on what I knew best – the book of Job. Father I know you were speaking though me today, because I know hearts were touched. My hands were shaking and my skirt got tripped n the microphone chord, but my words were solid, and I spoke your truth. When Pastor Timothy came and hugged me during the service, I knew I had done well. You were moving in me, through me. God it was so powerful. Thank you for using me as an instrument. Antony was so amazing today. He is such a new believer, and already he has been speaking words of encouragement into my life. He has blessed me so much, and I pray that I can be a true friend to him.

This night is so beautiful. The air is warm and the breeze is soft. The flowers are bright and coloring the landscape with yellow and pink. Last night I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be in community, I didn’t want to be in Africa, I didn’t want to serve. Then Bobby came onto the patio, apologized for being a jerk, and in his own subtle way forced me to open up. Forced me to be real with myself. And then we ate fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and painted the things on our hearts that were crying out to you. It was so good. Help me not to settle here. Help me not to take this wonderful place for granted, and never hold back love from anyone who reaches out for my hand. I love you so much.